Reading People

Most people do not realise they are doing it.

When you meet someone for the first time, you are reading them. You will have a gut reaction about that person before they have finished saying hello. Something about them you like. Something about them you do not, and you cannot put your finger on what it is.

That is a reading, and you did it without trying.

Reading people is like any ability. With practice you can develop it, and this page is about how.

You already do this

Women will often talk about meeting a man and having an instant dislike of him. There is something about him they do not like, and they cannot say what. Men do the same. They meet someone and get a sense of danger or distrust.

I have deliberately chosen the negative examples, because those are the feelings that get the most attention, in men and women both.

Women especially have a finely tuned intuition when it comes to first impressions. I hear far too many stories that involve the words "I knew it", "I told you", and "You should have listened to me".

Those stories are about a reading that was ignored.

Be the observer of yourself

To develop your reading ability, the most important thing is to become the third person observer of yourself.

You stand a little to one side of your own mind and watch what comes in.

Have no preconceived ideas about the person. Just allow impressions.

Never try to interpret. Go with the flow and take in the sense of things you are given.

What the impressions look like

When you read a person you will be given a lot of information, very often in a short space of time.

Spirit generally do not communicate in words. They communicate in feelings, concepts and a sense of things. What happens next is down to the interpretation of the reader.

Two kinds of impression are worth knowing about.

Sometimes the message will flash you someone from your own past. Your aunt. A teacher. A man you used to work with. That is to show you that the character of the person you are reading is very much aligned with that person. You are being handed a reference you already understand.

Sometimes it will be one of your own past experiences that flashes up. That is also a reference. When you share it, be true to the feelings that came with it.

Describe what you get

A lot of people learning to read have complained to me that finding the right words is difficult.

What I explain to them is that they are trying to find a single word or phrase that translates the message exactly. There usually is no single word or phrase that holds everything in the message.

So I have always advised using words that describe it rather than hunting for the exact word. The more describing words you use, the more accurate your interpretation will be.

It is when you try to define things that you bring your own life experiences into the message and confuse what you were given. Your definition of "difficult" or "lonely" or "strong" is built from your life. The person in front of you has a different one.

The more you simply accept the message and then describe what you were given, the better the translation is.

Keep Monkey Mind out of it

Monkey Mind is the noise. The doubts, the second guessing, the worry that you are making it up. When you read people it will try to fill every gap with an opinion, and if you let it, you end up reading your own head instead of the person.

The method for telling the two apart is on the Monkey Mind page. Start there if you have not already.

There is also a very good exercise for reading people that leaves Monkey Mind no room at all.

Read the people in the cars coming towards you.

You can only see their face for a few seconds. There is no time for Monkey Mind to get its thoughts in. You get the impression and they are gone. If you are the one driving, the road still comes first.

Practising on a person

When you are ready to practise on someone, ask first. It is important to have permission.

A photo works well. Ask a willing friend for a recent photo of their face, sit with it, and write down a few lines of the impressions you get. Then ask them for feedback, encouraging but accurate.

Reading someone through a photo is the same ability as reading them across a table. Clairsentience, sensing someone's mood and nature, works in person, at a distance and through a photograph, and it works on people in spirit as well as the living. There is more on that in the Clairs page.

Reading yourself

One thing that surprises people.

Reading others is often far easier than reading yourself. One reader told me she had done quite a few readings for others and been really accurate, and yet she could not read anything for herself. When she asked for guidance for her own life she got nothing.

What she did was ask others to read for her. If it happens to you, do the same. Your ability has not gone anywhere.

Even a very accomplished reader can need help to believe in their abilities. Reading for others, with their permission and their accurate feedback, is how that belief is built.

Where this leads

The same sense that reads the living reads those in spirit, and that is where the Mediumship page picks up.

Start with the cars. Notice your first impressions. Write them down and check them later.

You will be surprised how often you knew.

If you would like this read against your own chart, my readings are here.

Related pages
Empathy · Reading Animals