A Reason, a Season or a Lifetime

If you have come to this page because someone has just gone, start here, and take it slowly. Nothing on it needs to be understood in one sitting.

From the day we are born

We come across people from the day we are born to the day we pass over.

We make friends and we make acquaintances. We lose touch. We get married, we get divorced. We get sick, we get well. We get a new job, buy a new car, move house, and some of us move states or countries. Every one of those changes turns us in a new direction and lines us up with a new set of people who touch our lives.

Some we like. Some we love. Some we cannot stand. Some we feel an instant connection to and some an instant repulsion. Some we want as lovers and some as friends. The list is endless.

Underneath all of that movement sits one idea, and I have watched it land for more people than almost anything else I have written. Every person in your life has come for one of three reasons.

The three

Some come in for a reason. Some come in for a season. Some come in for a lifetime.

The thing to focus on is that each one of them, whichever of the three they are, has a gift for you. A message from the universe. Something to further your learning. Even a soul mate has a message for you, and it could be as simple as learning that love of that kind exists at all. The Soul Mates page goes further into that one.

There is no such thing as a chance meeting

That random conversation at a bus stop with an old lady might just have a gem in it for you, if you are willing to listen. A chat in the supermarket queue, at the petrol station, at work, at play, anywhere really, might open a door you never knew existed.

Think about that.

When someone has just gone

When someone leaves, the human in you asks why. Why did they go? Why is that other one still here? Why did that one only stay a year and change everything?

Those questions sit underneath most of the pain people bring me, and the three reasons answer them. Each person who has gone brought a gift with them, whether they stayed a reason, a season or a lifetime.

If your someone has died, the grief is heavier. I had a close childhood friend called Ian, who lived over the road and was like a brother to me. He was taken in a sudden accident while we were still teenagers. It took me many years to see that his passing moved my life in a direction it would never have taken without him, and I can see now that he agreed to help my spirit learn by leaving when he did. The human in me still struggles with that. At some point before you came here you made a soul agreement, and it is unlikely the human in you will like it. The spirit being inside you understands it. The Taken Too Soon page is where I tell the rest of that story, and please read it next if this is your situation.

When it ended badly

There will always be a person or persons who have caused you emotional grief, trauma or betrayal. Every day that you hold on to that negative feeling, they still own you. Think about that. You deserve so much more. The Hate page and the Letting Go page in The Inner Work area are where to take that next.

And if the same kind of person keeps arriving and leaving in the same kind of way, you are looking at a lesson coming round again. The Life Lessons page is about that circle and how to step out of it.

When you need someone to stay gone

There are times in life you may need to avoid a person. It could be that you do not want their energy around you. It could be any reason really. Every human feels that at some point.

Most ways of doing it involve changing your own habits to reduce the chance of a meeting. There is a simpler one. Ask your guides to make sure your paths never cross. You could live in the same suburb and never come across them again.

1. Close your eyes and connect with your higher self.
2. Make the request, something like this: "Can you please make sure that my path never crosses the path of this person, and that their path never crosses mine."

It is a very simple process, and at the same time a very powerful one.

Seeing who is still here

The lifetime people are worth noticing while you have them.

Be deliberate about who you spend time with. Remember how you feel when you are with each person, and let that guide you. If you keep trying to see someone as an apple when deep down you know they are a banana, the Banana Not Apple post in the daily posts is a short one worth reading.

Richard Bach is one of my favourite authors. He wrote that the bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life, and that rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof. That line gave me an epiphany when I first read it. Who in your life is family by choice rather than blood? The Soul Groups page explains why some people feel so familiar.

Something to sit with

Think of three people. One who came for a reason, one for a season, and one who is here for the lifetime.

What did each of them bring you?

You do not need me to answer that for you. Every person who has crossed your path has been doing a job in your growth, the ones you loved and the ones you did not.

If you would like this read against your own chart, my readings are here.