Taken Too Soon

We are left wanting more. We feel they left before they should have gone, and if we are plain about it, the right time would have been never. We are left with a huge gaping hole, and the question "Why?" that never seems to be answered.

If that is where you are today, this page was written for you. Read it slowly. Stop when you need to.

The human side

From a human perspective, it is totally crap.

That word does not do it justice. There are no real words that do. We become changed in ways that cannot be measured, with a deep longing for things to be different.

So we go from day to day, week to week, month to month and year to year, looking for a way to move forward and never seeming to get any traction. We are left with memories that seem to fade too quickly, and the same longing.

We did not ask for this, and we do not want it. And yet here we are, trying to make sense of a puzzle that seems to be unsolvable.

I am not going to tell you to cheer up or to move on. Losing someone sucks. No words can ease that pain, and it never seems fair.

What I can do is share my own experience, in the hope that it helps you too.

Ian

I had a close childhood friend called Ian.

He lived over the road from me. Our families were close. I essentially grew up with him, and even though we were not related, I thought of him as a brother.

We were still teenagers when he was taken. It was a sudden and tragic accident. I still miss him to this day.

For a long time I used to think about all the adventures we could have had, the ones that now only exist in imagination.

I now know that it was his time. I do not like that it was his time, but I do recognise that his time here was never meant to be long.

What he left me

It has taken me many, many years to understand this, so I do not expect it to land quickly for anyone else.

Thoughts of Ian over the years were fundamental to some of my early spiritual growth. I can put some of my growth as a human down to him as well. His influence over my life has been a positive one, even though he was not here physically.

His leaving when he did left me a legacy that was for my higher good, and I can now see the positive influences his passing gave me.

I know he gave me guidance at times when I was lost. I did not recognise it then. I do now.

His leaving when he did moved my timeline in a direction it would never have taken otherwise. Only years later can I say that I am grateful for that change of path, and for where it has led me. I can see now that he agreed to help my spirit learn by leaving when he did.

The human in me still struggles with that. Understanding something spiritually does not switch the grief off. Both live side by side, and they are allowed to.

Being able to say that he was my soul brother, and that I loved him, is cathartic. If you have someone like that, say it, out loud, today.

The soul agreement

At some point before you incarnated, you made a soul agreement. So did the person you have lost.

It is very unlikely the human in you will like that agreement. The spirit being inside you understands it, and will be reunited with them when you take your own walk over the rainbow bridge.

We travel each lifetime with the same twenty to twenty five souls, taking different roles in each other's lives. Some of them are here for a reason, some for a season, and some for a lifetime. The Soul Groups page in the Relationships and Guidance area is about that group, and the page there called A Reason, a Season or a Lifetime is about why some people stay with us for so short a time and change everything while they are here.

They are still part of your life

The bond does not end at the rainbow bridge.

Those we love visit. Sometimes it is a dream that feels different from ordinary dreams, more vivid and more real, and you wake knowing you were with them. Sometimes it is a smell, their perfume or their tobacco, in a room where it has no business being. Sometimes it is a sure, quiet sense that they are near.

You can talk to them, out loud or in your mind. You can ask them to visit you in a dream, and ask that you remember it when you wake. Be patient with that. It may not happen straight away, and they have their own lives to live where they are.

The Seeing Spirit page goes through all of this in more detail, and the What Happens When We Die page is about where they have gone.

Looking after yourself

Grief has its own timetable, and yours is yours. Nobody gets to tell you how long it should take.

If the weight of it is too much to carry on your own, please talk to someone you trust. A friend, a family member, a grief counsellor or your doctor. Spiritual understanding sits beside that kind of support, and never in place of it.

And be gentle with yourself. The human in you is doing something very hard.

Who did you lose too soon, and what has their leaving given you that you did not see at the time?

There is no rush to answer that. Some answers take years. Mine did.

All of the above is said with deep love for everyone.

If you would like this read against your own chart, my readings are here.

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Deja Vu and Its Four Kinds