Full Circle and Half Circle Relationships

It is the most common pattern there is in relationships, and it can be changed.

Countless relationships

In our lifetimes we will have countless relationships. Lovers, friendships, family, work. The list is endless.

I have heard many stories over the years about one sided relationships. Being contacted only when the other person needs something. Being acknowledged only when it suits them.

Those stories nearly always come back to the same shape.

You complete me

I remember hearing a movie quote: "You complete me."

On the surface it sounds gushy and romantic. In reality it is far from it.

What happens in life is that most people live as half a circle, and they look for another half circle to make a complete one. Then they spend the rest of their time together trying to be the master of that circle. One of them succeeds and becomes the power in the relationship. The other fails and is dominated.

It can never work as a balanced relationship until you complete your own circle, and then look for another complete circle.

Two complete circles together are never competing for control, because each already has a full circle of its own. Instead, they complement each other. Two whole people choosing each other freely. That is what real love looks like.

What a full circle is

Becoming a full circle means you are quite literally in charge of yourself.

You are whole and settled. You are not looking for someone else to fill a gap, because there is no gap left to fill.

It also means that when you meet someone who is half a circle, you will not be able to complete their circle, and you will stop trying. You no longer get pulled into competing with that person for control of a circle that was only ever going to be half yours.

The benefits of completing your own circle are boundless.

Where the missing half went

Nobody is born a half circle. We get that way.

To complete your circle, you go inward and discover who you are. You reconnect with the buried you, and you get rid of the layers you have collected over a lifetime.

Those layers were created mostly in childhood. You might call them walls. You put them up at the time thinking they would keep you safe. Sadly the opposite is true: they attract the very thing you are trying to avoid.

Your true strength returns when the layers come off and you return to the real you. The Finding the Real You page in The Inner Work area is about that same work from another angle, the hard shell and the marshmallow inside it.

Ways to complete your circle

There are a number of methods, and they suit different people.

1. Cognitive therapy with a trained professional. It works. It is also a slow and often painful process, and it can take years.
2. Hypnotherapy. How well this works depends on the skill of the practitioner, and again it can take a while.
3. Time Line Therapy. A very effective method that can resolve things in a few sessions.
4. EFT, or Emotional Freedom Technique, sometimes called face tapping. Also very effective, and it can resolve things in a few sessions. My daily post EFT, Tapping Away What Holds You Back walks you through the five steps.

Quiet inner work and daily meditation sit underneath all of them. The Thirty Minutes a Day page is where I set that up.

I can help with some of these methods myself. Otherwise, seek out someone skilled in the one that suits you.

All of them depend on one thing, which is you having a strong desire to reconnect with yourself. The method matters far less than the willingness. Nobody can drag you home to yourself, me included.

Spotting a half circle relationship

You do not need a diagram. You need to notice how you feel.

If anyone around you makes you feel less in any way at all, consider that person toxic to you. It may only be a little. It is still toxic. Remove their power from your life by deciding to no longer accept it. That may mean redefining your boundaries with them, changing the way you interact with them, or removing them from your life. It all adds up to the same result. You are left feeling whole again.

Keep in mind that how you feel directly affects your spiritual growth and your abilities.

Old half circles

Old relationships have a way of coming back round. Old faces, old feelings, conversations you thought were finished.

When one of them surfaces, it is a chance to ask a kinder question.

Was that one ever mine to complete, or was it always theirs?

If the same kind of half circle keeps arriving in your life, you are looking at a lesson repeating, and the Life Lessons page explains how that circle breaks. The A Reason, a Season or a Lifetime page may help with the ones who have already gone.

The rainbow

Did you know that a rainbow is a full circle? We only see the top half because we are not high enough.

I like that as a picture of a full circle. The whole of it is there, whether or not you are high enough to see it.

Something to sit with

Think of your closest relationship right now.

Are the two of you competing for control of one circle, or standing side by side with a circle each?

Whatever the answer, the only circle you can complete is your own. Become your own full circle. It is the most loving thing you will ever do, for you and for everyone who gets to stand beside you.

If you would like this read against your own chart, my readings are here.

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