Today, Sunday 6 September, is Father’s Day.
Before anything else, happy Father’s Day to every dad in this group, and to every man here who has fathered in the wider sense. The stepdads, the grandfathers, the uncles and the mentors who stepped up when it mattered.
The quiet work you do is seen.
I want to talk about fathers in three parts today, because this day does not land the same way for everyone.
First, the fathers who are here.
Many of us were raised by men of a generation that did not say much. Love came as actions. The lift to sport in the rain. The repaired bike waiting by the door. The quiet “call me when you get there”.
If your dad is still here, today is the day to translate the actions back into words. Ring him. Tell him one specific thing he did that shaped you.
Men of that generation rarely hear it, and it means more than you know.
Second, the fathers in spirit.
If your dad has passed, this day can arrive with an ache, and I want to offer you something I have taught in this group for years.
Our loved ones do not stop being part of our lives when they cross. They visit.
Sometimes it is a dream that feels different from ordinary dreams, more vivid, more real, and you wake knowing you were with him. Dreams are a portal, a halfway meeting place, and dream visits are the most common visit of all.
Sometimes it is smaller. A waft of his tobacco or his aftershave in a room where it has no business being. His song on the radio at exactly the right moment. A quiet, sure sense that he is standing near while you do something he loved.
That is not imagination. Those are visits, and today of all days, the door is open.
It is worth saying too that in the Chinese tradition, this very stretch of weeks is given to honouring ancestors, a whole season for remembering those who came before us. Different cultures, same knowing. The bond does not end.
So if your father is in spirit, set a moment aside today. Speak to him, out loud or in your heart. And keep an eye out this week for the reply.
Third, and this part matters just as much.
Not every father and child relationship is a good one. Some of you had fathers who hurt you. Some of you had fathers who simply were not there. And some of you are grieving a relationship that never existed, so let me say this plainly.
Grief for what never was is real grief.
If today is complicated for you, or painful, you do not have to dress it up. You do not have to post a tribute. You do not have to feel what the greeting cards say you should feel.
Two things can be true at once. A day can honour fathers, and a person can be honest that their father brought them pain. There is no spiritual rule that requires you to pretend otherwise, and anyone who tells you to just forgive and move on is skipping the human part.
Healing has its own timetable, and yours is yours.
If that is you today, be gentle with yourself, and know that this group holds you too.
So that is my Father’s Day. Gratitude for the fathers here. An open door for the fathers in spirit. And a seat by the fire for everyone for whom this day is heavy.
Every kind of story is welcome there today.
There is more teaching like this in The Library, and every daily post is in Daily Posts. If you would like guidance on your own path, see Readings.